My best friend, Christi, is in town for a few weeks, and she was really excited to go to the state fair. I figured now was as good a time as any for my annual funnel cake, plus we knew some people in the Celebrity Cow Chip Throwing Contest. Since they were going to stand in a ring and throw poo, we felt it was only right that we show up and support them while being thrilled that we didn’t have to participate. In the end, the ladies were well represented as Shannon took home two plaques appropriately decorated with straw and plastic poop. Nice!
We left the rodeo after the final toss since it turns out Christi is allergic to rodeo and couldn’t stop sneezing. Just as well, there was plenty of fried food to be had. Before the night was over, we’d eaten corn dogs, funnel cake, and a fried Oreo. Also? Bacon dipped in chocolate.
Let me just say a few words about chocolate coated bacon, which is also called a Pig Licker. We ate the basic version, although for a little more, you could top it off with your choice of salt or candy sprinkles. Clearly, this is a food created on a dare and eaten for the same reason. It tastes…let me put it this way: ever eaten bacon? Ever eaten chocolate syrup like people put on ice cream? Combine those experiences in your mind, and you know exactly how it tastes. There are things I’ve tried (black pudding, Kentucky moonshine) because I genuinely wanted to try them. I had no interest in trying the delicacy that is the Pig Licker, and yet, when offered part of the last strip, I caved. I’m ashamed to say that it didn’t even take much prodding, but I don’t think it was one of my better impulses.
Now, if you thinking that I’m being a bit harsh, or if you are, in fact, thinking that the combination actually sounds delicious, you are not alone. The reaction to the Pig Licker was divided strictly along gender lines. The guys who tried it were fans. I have a hard time believing them, but they’ve remained consistent in their endorsement.
We did also see—but managed to pass up—something called a “Hot Meat Sundae,” and really, I think I liked it better when people just battered and fried everything in sight. I was too busy suppressing my urge to throw up to read the sign closely, but my friend, Sam, pointed out that it wasn’t ice cream topped with ground beef (which is what I thought, and the illustration did nothing to correct that impression) but rather mashed potatoes topped with cheese, beef, more cheese, and a cherry tomato. So…that’s much less disgusting than it could have been, but I find it hard to believe that’s better than a pork chop on a stick. Sometimes it’s best to stick with the classics.
I owe my body a bit of an apology for some of the dietary sins I’ve committed. I’ll eat some vegetables this weekend to balance things out, but it was totally worth it. We had a blast, and Christi got her state fair fix. I mean, honestly, doesn’t this look fun: