I had a late night meeting this week, and Eric has been working late. We had about 10 minutes together before I had to head out, and I knew he might be asleep before I got home. Not so much because it was going to be a crazy long meeting, but because Daylights Savings Time really screws with our internal clocks. The joke around the house is: “What time is it, like Midnight?” It is almost always 8:00 when we ask this question.
Before I left, I asked Eric to do one thing before he went to bed. “Can you just make the bed so everyone has an equal amount of blankets?” We both have cover hogging tendencies and Eric usually does a couple of complete 360 revolutions during the night, so one of us usually ends up short sheeted, essentially.
This requested resulted in no less that 8 text messages during the course of my meeting. Not How To texts because he is more than capable of making a bed. These were protest texts.
The first one read:
Say no to socialized bed covers!
This was followed by:
Redistribution of covers will just lead to cover warfare!
Obamacovers are going to ruin America!
And because he fights the notion that we have “sides” of the bed (even though we totally do):
If we make changes in our covers what’s next…sides? Say no to Obamacovers!
I then received regular interruptions saying the following:
Stay tuned for the ugly truth behind Cover-gate…Covers were forfeited and now they expect us to give them a bailout.
They can have my covers when they pry them from my cold sleepy hand. Say no to cover control!
Share my opinions? Yeah. Share the rules? Sure. Share the covers? Never!
Hey hey. Ho ho. Cover gate has got to go!
Finally, I made it home, where the bed was beautifully made. The blankets were evenly distributed and keeping the bed nice and warm. I gave him a kiss, told him he was crazy, and went to the bathroom to get ready for bed. At which point, I got this message:
Covers for those in bed not for those doing other things instead!
Say no to cover regulation!
This is the man I am in love with, and, oddly, this is one of the reasons that I love him. Not because he is argumentative and sometimes difficult, but because he is funny and goofy and deeply, deeply weird. I don’t know how better to explain why Eric and I have been together for five years besides the fact that we both enjoy and respect each others’ eccentricities.